Missing Sexy Pieces

It doesn't seem possible, yet in this 21st century age of information, we lack the basic truth about our sexual anatomy. It's sad but true, the pictures in the sex books and the text books are missing some of our vital equipment. We’ll never be able to see the whole picture, if we keep trying to put the puzzle together when important pieces are missing. When we lack this information, we can’t understand the reality of our bodies much less figure out how to pleasure our selves or others fully. If you don’t know what you’ve got, how can you really play with it?

What’s Missing From This Picture?
Imagine playing the piano but only being able to see half the keys. Even though the invisible keys are still there, you wouldn’t know that you could or should play with them. Or imagine that a quarter of the keys have been permanently removed.  You’d still make perfectly good music but it would lack the range, complexity and depth that having access to all the keys could give you.

That’s the situation we have now in our culture with our current models of male and female genitalia. The pictures in the books only show us a part of what’s actually there. Much of the equipment that’s responsible for arousal and orgasm in women is missing from our standard depictions thus absent in our brains as well. Women have just as much erogenous equipment as men do although it’s arranged quite differently. Women have an Arousal Network, that pound for pound, inch for inch, is utterly analogous to the male apparatus. But since a number of these structures are missing in our images and our minds, much of that equipment isn’t being played with.

Our model of male equipment is based on a cultural norm that removes extremely important functional sexual tissue. The cultural myth is that the foreskin is extraneous, and is better off removed. As if Mother Nature had some extra time on her hands, so she knitted a useless frilly doily and tossed it on the end of the penis. Now, being so modern and tidy, we just remove that quaint little dust catcher, improving on evolution’s design. The reality is, the foreskin is far from insignificant, it’s a well-designed part of the male equipment with important and irreplaceable functions.  

Our mental maps of our sexual equipment are incomplete. This missing information hinders our sexuality, our relationships, our health and our understanding and enjoyment of our very selves in myriad ways. It’s a virtual amputation with very real effects.

Mental Mismatch Mess-Up
What happens when our models of what ‘should be’ don’t match what actually is? Many people assume there’s something wrong with them, instead of recognizing that the pictures and scripts are flawed. Many feel broken, inadequate, and believe they got ripped off when Mother Nature was giving out the good stuff.

Inaccurate models are like mental chains that limit your movement, cramp your style and prevent you from discovering your truly awesome capacity for pleasure. Accurate models help people expand their capacity for sexual expression and their repertoire of sexual skills. When your experience fits your mental picture, you feel whole, functional, and connected. You’re free to explore the full range of your sexual potential. Most importantly, it helps you know you’re normal.

What Else Is Missing?
It’s not just that our representations of genitalia are inaccurate. Our understanding of arousal is also limited as it doesn’t take into account personal, cultural and gender differences and is based on a goal-directed, male-oriented pattern of arousal and sexual expression. Even the language we have to talk about sex and bodies and all of the delicious things we can do with them is limited and filled with shame. All of these skewed visions have very real and damaging effects, just as accurate models offer vistas of expanded possibilities and untapped potential.

How Do I Get There From Here?
We need accurate models that reflect the actual bodies and experiences of both men and women. It’s challenging to find the few resources available to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle. You need and deserve accurate depictions of your sex parts, new visions of what’s possible, and a good map to show you how to get there.

What Does Whole Look Like?
So, start by taking a deep breath, right now and imagining who you would be if you were sexually whole. Visualize yourself able to enjoy all of the sexual experiences you’ve ever imagined and more. You can become that person when you open your mind to your potential and begin to learn how to fully play the beautiful instrument of your sexual self. It begins with having a comprehensive and accurate understanding of your instrument.